Dear Mr. "Nice Guy"

We all know the saying "nice guys finish last." We are very aware of the trend and are very aware you are a "nice guy." Do you know how we know you're a nice guy? Because you tell us. All. The. Time.

So here's the deal. Has anyone ever told you why nice guys finish last and the so-called jerk gets the girl? No? Well, you're in luck. Because I'm here to do just that.

There are two types of guys. The guy who gets the girl and the guy who gets friend-zoned.

Let's talk about the guy who gets friend-zoned. This term has become popular lately. Unfortunately, it is the ultimate truth when it comes to the "nice guy". This guy talks a lot about what he does for others, particularly those of the female persuasion. He actually tells you he is a nice guy, more than once. He complains about always being the nice guy and never getting the girl. This guy doesn't really talk about what he does, what he likes, or what stuff he has. He is incredibly nice, probably has a good personality, is good-looking, and has a job. But we don't know that. Because all he talks about is anything that doesn't relate to himself, unless it is how he is a nice guy. This guy is constantly reminding you of how the last girl he dated ignored him when it came to this or how he was super nice when she got drunk and he just put her to bed. Which is awesome. We do want guys who don't take advantage of us. But here's the thing. We don't want guys who are just another girlfriend. We have girls to talk about the things girls talk about. We have coworkers to discuss the latest in politics and news and whatever drama there is out there. We want a guy who will talk about what they want to talk about, go out and do their thing, and come home to tell us how hot we look.

Now, let's talk about the guy who gets the girl. This guy talks about whatever he knows, which includes himself. He discusses what he did at the gym, what he did at work, how cool his friends are, and what kind of other "cool" stuff he has and has done. Women like a guy who does stuff and knows about different stuff. He probably comes off a little over-confident (read: cocky) and is maybe a little more outgoing.  But he gets noticed. And getting noticed gets you the girl.

The bottom line is, don't tell us how nice you are. SHOW us how nice you are by doing stuff with us and still maintaining a gentlemanly status. You don't have to bench a truck or do a keg stand to get noticed. But you do have to sell yourself as a guy who wants to date us - not take on the role of our best friend.  Help yourself out of the friend-zone and let us know who you are.

Cheers!

What I Want

All I want:
At the end of the day, to be tired from work or from play. Because not accomplishing anything isn't special.
A nice vehicle to drive, to get me from place to place in comfort and safety. Because the things you take care of are there when you need them.
A home with room to roam and a yard to run in. Because chasing a puppy around is fun.
Puppies at my feet and dog toys scattered around. Because a home without dog hair isn't home.
Food in the fridge and places to go for special times. Because eating out shouldn't be every night.
Calloused hands and bruised legs. Because hard work doesn't come from sitting around.
Music on the radio and clear, starfilled nights. Because I know who is watching over me from above.
Open roads and the wind at my back. Because nothing clears your head like a drive.
Hiking trails and flowing streams. Because nature is beautiful.
Friends and family. Because we can't go it alone.

Life doesn't have to be complicated.

I am Sorry

Dear Society:
I am sorry, but not because I did anything wrong. I am sorry that there are people out there who do not think women should work alongside a man, in a male-dominated career. Most of all, I am sorry it is mostly women who feel this way.
Yes. I am a firefighter.
Yes. I workout hard. I train hard. And I love what I do.
No. I am not here to steal your husband.
No. I am not trying to hook up with every guy on the department. Actually, I am not trying to hook up with ANY guy on the fire department. I may flirt and joke around, but it is no different than what you do with the guy at Starbucks or the bag boy at Safeway. There is a very thick line that is never crossed. I have the deepest respect for the guys I work with and think of them as brothers. I trust them with my life and expect they do the same.
I am offended and disappointed there are wives who think their husband should not work with a female. I am here to do my job, one that I have worked darn hard to get. I have a passion and a talent for doing what I do, just the same as every guy on the department and most likely the same as every person judging me.
Please, just let me do my job. I am, after all, a professional. I am educated and love to learn. I am dedicated and love to teach. I am here because it is a great career and I have great aspirations to becoming something more. 

Instead of judging me, maybe you could get to know me. Get to know who I am and not hate me because of who you think I am. Learn to understand that I am here because I want to do something more, not because I am interested in any guy I work with. Learn that I have morals and ethics and beliefs. Learn that I am capable of doing my job. Learn that I have other interests and hobbies and friends away from the station. Most importantly, learn that I am not a bad person. That I am not a "female" firefighter, but rather a firefighter. If you so choose to hate me then, make it because of the person I am, not because of the person you think I am.

Sincerely,

A Firefighter

Sticks and Stones

Bullying. It is a buzzword that literally gets millions of hits on Google daily. And it isn't getting better. Or going away. It continues to get worse.
People are mean. It has nothing to do with sex or religion or race. The bottom line is, most of us care about ourselves. We come first. We don't ask questions or try to get two sides of the story. We jump to conclusions and assume if it isn't how we think it should be, we need to make sure the world knows about it. Rumors spread faster than truth.
WE are tearing our world apart. One hurtful comment at a time. One accusation at a time. WE are destroying our future leaders. Criticizing them for having different ideas. Chastising them for questioning things they don't understand. WE are inhibiting change. Not accepting what we don't know. Not listening to the voices trying to be heard.
Bones heal. Words hurt.

525,600 Heartbeats

1 year.
365 days.
525,600 heartbeats.

One year has passed since saying goodbye. 365 days of missing you. Of thinking of you not being here. 525,600 heartbeats that break with every passing second.

People say 'he's just a dog' and 'you got a replacement'. And I smile. I move on. Because those people don't know me.

It isn't the fact that he was a dog. Or that I got another one. He was my best friend. He knew when I was sad. He knew when he did something wrong. He knew what he needed to do to get his prized purple football. We talked; he was a great listener. Even when he lost his hearing, he knew what you were saying. His eyes showed his thoughts. His love.

His clumsiness, his famous Rocket Dog charge, his fearsome bark with his wagging tail and smiling face. The hair. His grace. His tail - the locator beacon on searches. His toys. Always ready and eager to play. The hair. His protector status when people were close to me. Every day, a memory comes to mind. Every day, his love fills my heart.

People say in death there is life, in sadness there is happiness, and in hate there is love.  I believe that you do not know how to be alive until you have helped your best friend through death, you do not know how to be happy until you have felt the pain of sadness, and you do not know how to hate when you have felt the love of a dog.

Forever my finder ~ I will always love you Koda. 10/09/05 - 03/01/2013