Achievements

I was recently talking with a high school classmate. We haven't seen each other since graduation (*gulp* 11 years ago) and did the quick two-minute catch-up. She was with her husband and daughter (about six years old?) and some friends. I was with my dog.

It started off with me asking what she had been up to. She told me she got married, had a kid, was a stay-at-home mom, everything she ever wanted. She said she was "SO HAPPY!" I smiled, did the supportive friend thing, and turned to get back to what I was doing.

She grabbed my arm and asked what I had been up to, who I was married to, how many kids I had. I looked back at her and told her I was single and had a dog. She had the most mortified look on her face. "REALLY?!? Why?" 

Well - I just smiled and said things were good and continued on my way. Naturally, as I walked, I thought about what I should have said. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my life (please don't read too much into that). Yes, I'm 30. No, I'm not married. I don't have a steady boyfriend (okay, I don't have any boyfriend). Yes, I have a dog. No, I don't have kids. 

But really, honestly, I have nothing to be ashamed of and she has nothing to judge me by. I am a very accomplished 30-year old. I am successful, own my home (so First Interstate Bank has a share in it too, minor detail), own my own vehicle, have completed two engineering degrees at two of the hardest colleges in the country, work my bum off, and have trained a very successful search dog. Not only that, but I am training my second one. I have made a difference in countless lives. I am healthy, in good shape, and I am a great leader. And I have a great blog. (one of those may be a lie)

As a society, we are so focused on "The American Dream" of starting a family young and having kids to show our success. But successes are different for everyone. So, no, I don't have a husband and a child. But I have a fantastic family and amazing friends who have helped me get to where I am. An accomplished, single, and happy 30-year old.

Our Chosen Family

I am a firefighter. There is no doubt in my mind it is not only what I do, but who I am. Beside me are 130 other firefighters. As the saying goes, it is a brotherhood and this is my family. Sure, I don't know all of the guys well, and some may or may not like me, but that is the same as it is with all families. 

I feel so fortunate because I have so many families. I have my "real" family; my mom, dad, and brother. Of course Loki and Koda. My SAR family, my bowling family, and my racing family. And then there is my "other" family that is comprised of all the random weirdos I have got to know over the last 30 years. Together, you all make up my life. 

Today, I am spending the day with my chosen family. Like so many others, I am away from my parents and brother on this holiday. But that doesn't mean I am alone or not spending the holiday with my family. I am fortunate enough to have a pie in the oven, breakfast in my tummy, and dinner planned out. Granted, it may be late or cold, but I am still thankful for what I have.

So, as you look around your table today and see all of your family and friends, say your thanks, and remember the last year, don't forget the rest of your world; the family that you choose.

For the Love of the Dog

I like dogs more than most people. Yep - true statement. Dogs are fantastic creatures. Puppies are even more amazing, but I love it when they grow into a dog. Don't get me wrong - that look Loki gives me with those crystal blue eyes and black and brown ears that says "love me forever" is so adorable he could get away with chewing up my favorite pair of CrossFit shoes, but there is something about a well-trained dog that just makes me smile.

I am SO EXCITED for Loki to grow up. Every day he is developing his own personality. He is such a cool dog and so different from Koda. He is figuring things out on his own and it is so darn cute. It cracks me up that he lays directly on the air vent (he likes the cold air apparently) and how he loves peanut butter. And he is an amazing alarm clock - he gets up at 0438 every day. Yea, I can't wait to see if he is adjustable for daylight savings time.

Then there are the things that we do for our dogs. A friend and I spent four hours putting in a dog door yesterday (okay, so Andy did most of the work...all of the work) and I stayed home from work all week because he hurt his paw. And then there is Loki's diet...he eats an all raw conglomeration of food. Have you ever seen what is is dog food? Gross. Horse carcass? Ground up chicken poo? Leftovers that weren't even good enough for hot dogs? No thanks. So, I spend about an hour a week cooking food for him. The other night, he had ground turkey and green beans along with some yogurt for dinner. I had an apple. There is something wrong there, but heck, he deserves it.

After being dogless for three-ish months, I can't imagine my life without one of these furry, innocent, loving canines. Sure, they're a lot of work. And yes, it hurts like nothing else when they leave us (I miss Koda every single day). But ya know what? I am willing to be the best doggie momma around for the return love this goofy, clumsy mutt.

And soon, he'll lose all of his puppy teeth!

Continuing the Legacy

The hardest part about saying good-bye is wondering what it would be like right now. What would we be doing today? Would Koda like that toy? How would he react to this thunder? My biggest fear is forgetting about him ~ but I have faith that will never happen. Koda was the best thing that happened to me; he was my best friend, my search partner, and was loved by so many people.

Part of me didn't know if I could get another dog. What would he think of me getting a NEW dog? Is that the ultimate slap in the face - replacing him? Since March 1, whenever someone has asked about who I am, I start to say "just me and the dog." And then I would stop. Because it was just me. 

Then, spending my free time looking at rescue dog websites, I found a blue-eyed, brown-eared ball of fuzz. And I realized all of my fears about "replacing" Koda were null - I am not moving on from Koda, I am not replacing him, and I am certainly not forgetting him. By getting another dog, I am keeping Koda's memories fresh. He was an amazing dog and he taught me so much stuff: how to work with an animal, love unconditionally, and forever be part of something. 

So, with the assurance that Koda is looking over my shoulder, I am ready for another chapter in this adventure of doggie love. I see traits of Koda in Loki, little reminders that he is still here. And, like Koda, Loki is teaching me all sorts of things, like how wonderful it is to lay on your back and have your belly rubbed. 

Here is to continuing Koda's legacy. 

What my dog taught me

1. Don't be afraid to leave a little hair behind - it is a way of reminding people you were there.
2. Clean windows need nose prints.
3. Be friendly - you never know who is watching.
4. Keep your toys easily accessible and always answer the door with a ball in your mouth.
5. Always be ready to go, you don't want to miss the ride to the park.
6. Forgive - everyone is fighting something.
7. Take time to smell the weeds - even though it isn't a beautiful flower, it might be something special.
8. Don't always follow the trail - the most wonderful things come from straying off course.
9. Remember where you came from and that you can always go back.
10. Friends are family and both are priceless.
11. Stretch.
12. Sometimes, it is okay to break the rules.
13. There is nothing wrong with stealing a piece of apple pie once in a while.
14. If someone wants to help, let them. Even if you can do it yourself, it makes them feel appreciated.
15. Run. Chase. Laugh.

"If you can't find it, be it"

For the last three years, I have been asked to do a presentation for a Women's Community Leadership Initiative group. The topic is women in leadership positions within the public sector; fitting because I am a female firefighter and assistant team leader for a search and rescue team. The gist of the event is that I go sit with a female deputy, female marshal, and a female attorney and we answer questions related to how we got into our career field, stumbling blocks we found along the way, and why we do what we do.
The first two years, I kind of addressed it like a sales pitch - if you want to be a firefighter, this is what you need to do. And, honestly, my heart wasn't really in it because many of the women in the program weren't interested in being a firefighter.
This year it finally dawned on me why I was there. The ladies doing the presentation with me are all very accomplished women with several years of experience and success under their belts. Their stories and backgrounds inspire me. While we were answering questions about why we do what we do and how we deal with the tough situations in our career fields, I looked around at a room full of faces that were amazed. Not necessarily at the fact that we were women in male-dominated career fields. But that we, as a whole, were so involved and happy with what we do that we had found ways to be successful. On a daily basis, we deal with people not completely understanding we were capable of doing our jobs. We see death and abuse and very sick people day in and day out. And we are motivated to come back the next day and do it all again. Excited to go to work.
It isn't about me being a firefighter. It isn't about me being someone who influences someone else to be a firefighter. It is about me, showing someone else that the confidence they have in themselves, can take them to places they want to go. Nothing is out of our reach. Sometimes, you don't even realize you've got there because you keep moving your destination farther. As we reach one success, we find another to strive for. And we motivate and inspire others along the way.
This presentation really isn't about my career as a firefighter, or how women become a deputy. It is about showing others that they can create their own path and have confidence in their abilities.
One of the ladies tonight said it the best. "If you can't find it, be it."

My Finder and My Friend

I often reach to scratch a head that isn't there
And clean the floor of toys that once were everywhere
Your hair is almost gone from clothes I always wore
And water drops on my floors don't need cleaned anymore
I listen for your collar on nights I cannot sleep
And wait for you to come, my fears you always keep
I turn to look behind me on the trails we used to run
And wait for you to catch me, then do it all again
Your loving eyes and telling ears
You taught me so much the last seven years.

I still look in the backseat of my truck
You always wait so patiently
Happy for whatever adventure we could stumble across
The late night searches, the rainy hikes, long meetings, and hundreds of classes
You were always by my side
Someday again we will be together
Hiking the most beautiful trails
Endless balls to throw, Frisbees to catch
You'll know I am coming long before I get there
And in my hand I'll have your football, a reward for a job well done
For you found many people in your lifetime
But most importantly, you found me.

Politically Incorrect

The term "politically correct" has become part of everyday language. The top concern in editing is making sure no one is offended. Through this, we have lost our ability to really say what needs to be said.

People often ask what I do. I tell them I am a fireman. And that is usually followed by a look of shock. But, you're a female! Doesn't it offend you to be called a fireMAN? Well, no. It doesn't. But thanks for telling me what I should be offended by. 

I am a huMAN. I live in a world where MANkind consists of males and females. We are all in it together, why should I be offended by a word? Does it REALLY matter? We have become so concerned about creating an equal playing field and making sure all people are welcome, we have lost our individualism. We can't even use the terms "he" or "she" anymore, because, well, what if...? Why does it matter? 

We are so focused on the little things that the big things are passing us by. Reality is, not everyone will always be included. Not everyone will always be equal. No matter HOW hard I try, peeing standing up is never going to be a forte for me. And I am OKAY with that. Because I realize that people are different. I understand that there are male dominated fields, just like there are female dominated fields. Certain groups of people are better at certain sports than others. And some people are smarter than others. Does it make it right or wrong? No. It makes it who we are. We cannot try to make everyone the same because it will never happen.

In all reality, the attempt to make everything PC is more annoying than just letting things go. Relax, world, just take a deep breath and relax. It will be okay, I promise. 

If tears could heal

If tears could heal
I'd wash away your pain
I'd take the sorrow
And turn it into rain.
I would count each tear drop
And give you one more day
To chase your ball
And run around and play.
If tears could heal
You'd be forever with me
I would never let go
Making the most of who you challenge me to be.
I would never say good-bye
Together we would always go
Hand-in-paw
Just you and me.
If only tears could heal.